Sorry For Not Giving Up Control, We Used You
Dear LGBTQ People,
I’m so sorry for the way we in the church as allies have such a hard time giving up control and power to you within the church and local churches. Even after 28 years, we the dominant cis-straight folks, use you as a way to increase our attendance and finances—because we are worried about surviving—or at other times, we say we are affirming, but are worried to stand up in our local affirming churches, becasue we may create conflict, offend people, or cause an uproar. We confess that we say the right justice words, but in practical matters we fail at times—sometimes terribly.
We confess that we say the right affirming statements, but we are allies out of ego needs and do this ministry so we—as straight folks— feel good about ourselves. “Look at us!” We are great inclusive middle-class folks doing justice work — but will not let go of control — and listen instead. Listen and ask — how can we be friends. What do you need from us? What do you need from the church? We ask rude and inappropriate quesitons. We tell you— you can come if you act and look like us. We ignorantly say, “Don’t put that rainbow flag everywhere but please be with us in community.” We ignorantly say, “Come be welcomed and affirmed, but leave you gay agenda at home.” To be truth, maybe we don’t really know what it means to be an ally yet — a true friend ready to listen, change, and let go in reciprocity.
(Shared with permission. Photo: Wix.)